The Road Forward

"I knew now what I had to do to get my passion back, to regain that creative spark. It was simply a matter of remembering where my journey began".

A quote from the Book by Cirque du Soleill

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" Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you cannot change".

How a Child Remembers You

Last week I attended church with good friends of mine. People who have helped me back on Restorations highway. As I sat down in the church pew, 3 year-old Brianna turned around and said "Mr. Tony"! Then, she motioned for me to lean closer, and as I did, she took the front of my sport coat and buttoned it.

She smiled, and I smiled. Somehow, I knew that she always remembered me in a buttoned suit and tie. In that pew, and during a stirring gospel song by the choir, she wanted to remind me that to be fully presentable, I needed to have my suit coat buttoned.

East Cleveland

Two people said to me: " How could you go from Cleveland, to East Cleveland"? The answer was easy. Its where I am suppose to be, doing what I am suppose to do. Its that easy. That simple.

'What I Want for You — and Every Child in America' By President-elect Barack Obama

'What I Want for You — and Every Child
in America'
By President-elect Barack Obama

Next Tuesday, Barack Obama will be sworn in as our 44th President. On this historic occasion, PARADE asked the President-elect, who is also a devoted family man, to get personal and tell us what he wants for his children. Here, he shares his letter to them.


Dear Malia and Sasha,

I know that you've both had a lot of fun these last two years on the campaign trail, going to picnics and parades and state fairs, eating all sorts of junk food your mother and I probably shouldn't have let you have. But I also know that it hasn't always been easy for you and Mom, and that as excited as you both are about that new puppy, it doesn't make up for all the time we've been apart. I know how much I've missed these past two years, and today I want to tell you a little more about why I decided to take our family on this journey.

When I was a young man, I thought life was all about me—about how I'd make my way in the world, become successful, and get the things I want. But then the two of you came into my world with all your curiosity and mischief and those smiles that never fail to fill my heart and light up my day. And suddenly, all my big plans for myself didn't seem so important anymore. I soon found that the greatest joy in my life was the joy I saw in yours. And I realized that my own life wouldn't count for much unless I was able to ensure that you had every opportunity for happiness and fulfillment in yours. In the end, girls, that's why I ran for President: because of what I want for you and for every child in this nation.

I want all our children to go to schools worthy of their potential—schools that challenge them, inspire them, and instill in them a sense of wonder about the world around them. I want them to have the chance to go to college—even if their parents aren't rich. And I want them to get good jobs: jobs that pay well and give them benefits like health care, jobs that let them spend time with their own kids and retire with dignity.

I want us to push the boundaries of discovery so that you'll live to see new technologies and inventions that improve our lives and make our planet cleaner and safer. And I want us to push our own human boundaries to reach beyond the divides of race and region, gender and religion that keep us from seeing the best in each other.

Sometimes we have to send our young men and women into war and other dangerous situations to protect our country—but when we do, I want to make sure that it is only for a very good reason, that we try our best to settle our differences with others peacefully, and that we do everything possible to keep our servicemen and women safe. And I want every child to understand that the blessings these brave Americans fight for are not free—that with the great privilege of being a citizen of this nation comes great responsibility.

Sasha (l) and Malia Obama at play in New Hampshire in 2007.
Bumper cars at the Iowa State Fair in August 2007.
That was the lesson your grandmother tried to teach me when I was your age, reading me the opening lines of the Declaration of Independence and telling me about the men and women who marched for equality because they believed those words put to paper two centuries ago should mean something.

She helped me understand that America is great not because it is perfect but because it can always be made better—and that the unfinished work of perfecting our union falls to each of us. It's a charge we pass on to our children, coming closer with each new generation to what we know America should be.

I hope both of you will take up that work, righting the wrongs that you see and working to give others the chances you've had. Not just because you have an obligation to give something back to this country that has given our family so much—although you do have that obligation. But because you have an obligation to yourself. Because it is only when you hitch your wagon to something larger than yourself that you will realize your true potential.

These are the things I want for you—to grow up in a world with no limits on your dreams and no achievements beyond your reach, and to grow into compassionate, committed women who will help build that world. And I want every child to have the same chances to learn and dream and grow and thrive that you girls have. That's why I've taken our family on this great adventure.

I am so proud of both of you. I love you more than you can ever know. And I am grateful every day for your patience, poise, grace, and humor as we prepare to start our new life together in the White House.


Love, Dad

Move On!

Move On!
TGIF Today God Is First Volume 1 by Os Hillman
Wednesday, January 14 2009

..."Why are you crying out to Me? Tell the Israelites to move on." - Exodus 14:15

Moses had brought the whole nation of Israel, approximately 600,000, to a dead end in the desert. The only thing between Israel and Pharaoh's pursuing army was the Red Sea. This was after ten plagues God had inflicted on Pharaoh to motivate him to free the Israelites. Finally, Pharaoh had freed Moses and the people, and they left Egypt. They thought they were home free. "Freedom at last," they said. But God did a strange thing. He directed Moses to take a route that led to the Red Sea, instead of the northern route around the Red Sea. God explained that He didn't want them fighting the enemies they would have encountered on this route. But still, there was the issue of the Red Sea.

They finally arrived at the Red Sea, and the people were wondering where they would go from there. News hit the camp: Pharaoh had changed his mind. He was coming after them with his army. Panic set in. The defenseless Israelites cried out, "Was it because there were no graves in Egypt that you brought us to the desert to die?...It would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the desert!" (Ex. 14:11b-12)

God sometimes brings each of us to a "Red Sea" in our life. It may be a work problem that can't be solved. It may be a marriage that seems to be failing. It may be a debilitating disease. Whatever your Red Sea, God tells us one thing: "Keep moving." The Red Sea was before them, yet God was angered at Moses and told him to "Keep moving."

"But Lord, the Red Sea is before me." "Keep moving." When we live by sight, we act on what we see. God sets this stage in dramatic fashion. God is into the dramatic. There is no way out without God here. That is just the way He wants it. No one will get glory except God.

A friend once admonished me when I was in the midst of an extremely difficult time in my life, "You must not withdraw from being proactive in your faith just because of this trial that you are in. God's hand is on your life. There are too many who are depending on you to fulfill the purposes God has in your life. Keep moving! Keep investing yourself in others." I didn't feel like it. I was in too much pain. But I did it anyway. God met me at the point of my greatest need once I decided simply to be obedient. Getting past myself by investing myself in others helped heal the pain. There is great healing when we look past our own problems and seek to invest ourselves in others for the sake of Christ. This is when our own Red Seas become parted. We begin to walk to freedom. But we will never experience the miracle of the Red Sea in our lives if we don't first "Keep moving."

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Some once said:

Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and
let go of what you can't change.

Hope Always by " L"

A dear friend from college reminded me today to "Hope Always". To hold unto hope; through family and friends.

In the end, after everything else has floated downstream or vanished, it is hope, the belief that somehow, someway, that the lights, however dim, are always on at the end of Plato's cave for reinvention, renewal, restoration, and new discoveries.

Today, I discovered that through the many paths and avenues of hope, comes, renewed friendships.

A Poem by Langston Hughes-A Favorite

There is a dream in the land
With its back against the wall
By muddled names and strange
Sometimes the dream is called.

There are those who claim
This dream for theirs alone--
A sin for which we know
They must atone.

Unless shared in common
Like sunlight and like air,
The dream will die for lack
Of substance anywhere.

The dream knows no frontier or tongue,
The dream, no class or race.
The dream cannot be kept secure
In any one locked place.

This dream today embattled,
With its back against the wall--
To save the dream for one
It must be saved for all.

" God is Good"

On the rapid transit this morning, an older gentlemen, put his bike on the front bike rack of the bus, and got on. Upon sitting down, he said, to another lady, probably a neighbor, "hello".

She said, " I haven't seen you in quite sometime, where have you been?" he replied, I had cancer of the tongue, and the doctors, needed to cut a portion of my tongue out, but...." I just thank God that I am alive, because God is good."

I just sat back and said a prayer for my own thankfulness.

A Woman on a Folded Chair

A a decade or so ago, as a recent NYC transplant, I would take the NJ Path train into 33rd Street in Manhattan for a position as a Paralegal at a small Park Avenue firm. Each day, as the doors to the subway cars opened, I saw an elderly woman sitting on a fold-out chair with a plastic cup in her hand, and often singing gospel songs.

Never really directly asking for money, but certainly that was the secondary goal. More importantly, each day, she would greet the morning commuters with kind words of compassion, and encouragement, despite, her own personal situation.

The subway was cold; with limited lighting, and always crowded. Most New Yorkers, kept their eyes straight ahead and certainly avoided any eye contact with anyone, let alone, a woman in a folded chair.

Since I was new to the City, our eyes often met and one day I stopped and said hello. She returned my hello, with thank you for speaking, and said: "where is that beautiful young lady that often walks besides you as you leave the train". For a moment, I was speechless, I didn't realize that Ms. Evans was that keen and sharp about who I traveled with. Anyway, I said, the young woman, was my fiance, and Ma'am, God bless you, do you need anything"?

At that last question, her brow changed, and for an instant she got quite serious, and "said, son, the situation of my life has been what it is, and now, I try to give a little something back, to others, whether or not, they return my kindness".

As the months progressed, I continued to acknowledge Ms. Evans as I passed her in the morning, and often dropped a few bucks in her cup. One day, Ms. Evans was not there. I looked around and checked to see if she had moved. Finally, I asked the subway workers, what happened. They said, by order of the NYC Transit Authority, she had to be removed from the subway--people complained about her being in the way and disturbing "their" morning commute.

Certainly, most people would assume she was a homeless person (and she may have been), but that's not what I got. What I got, and others who listened was kindness, encouragement, hope, faith, and sweet songs.

That's what our society has come to, we tolerate crowded subway cars, screaming people on cell phones, high priced dinners and drinks, big cars, and expensive vacations. But, a woman on a folded chair, dispensing kindness, with a song, no, that's something, needed to addressed by the powers that be.

Saying Thank you

I remember DJ and Brianna always saying, "Mr. Tony, thank you for giving us a yogurt pop or fruit cup, and I would say "your welcome." Each interaction with them came a thank you or a "your welcome". Always, each and every interaction.

A few months ago, I had to be reminded of saying thank you, by them, for the kindness given to me, by others. Someone said to me, "aren't you happy to be here,"? Are you not grateful that you are not where you were, and are actually, on the road to where you want to be? My immediate answer to both questions were "yes" but that wasn't the answer. It wasn't a precise answer that I needed to give, but, it made me stop and think. No, really think.

Certainly, I was more than grateful for the kindness and sacrifice bestowed upon me but what is thankfulness when it is not expressed, and not received by the recipient. How can one express thanks while being silent, how does one know,when another's actions are appreciated, without saying so?

Being thankful is not a one-time event, thankfulness is an eternal lifetime, that spans across miles, relationships, and situations. And, in the example above, as I stopped thinking, and began talking, I said, to the person, "thank you" and since that interaction, I had remained conscious of those things that strangers, friends, relatives and others have done for me.

At the end of the day, isn't expressing thankfulness, something that is part of what we should do, as individuals within our world, and between each another?

A Post from the Four Agreements

Surrender and Let Go of the Past

Whatever life takes away from you, let it go. When you surrender and let go of the past, you allow yourself to be fully alive in the moment. Letting go on the past means that you can enjoy the dream that is happening right now.

Life's Lessons on the Road to Restoration

In the spirit of our New Year, I plan to write about the following life's lessons learned on my road to restoration. Over time, I want to share them with you. Right now, they are:

Thank you
Gratitude
Forgiveness
Renewal
Restoration
Truth-telling
Honesty
Sacrifice
Hospitality
Accountability
Faith
Love
Friendship

Are You My Friend?

In talking with 4 year-old DJ and 2 1/2 Brianna, they would often say: Mr. Tony, are you my friend? They would ask not once, but several times; both together, and sometimes individually.

The truth is that they knew I was not only was their friend, but that I was someone that cared about them and their family as a whole. While they did not say it; they were really asking me if I cared for them, if I loved them; with friendship being their portal as children to inquire about the nature of caring for one another. Am I my brother and sister's keeper?

Are you my friend?